The Purdzilla Show

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash The twin peaks reached above them, beyond the slope that was swept with owl clover and cholla brush, beyond the scrub oak and dark mass of timber, stone pinnacles against the sky, close enough to touch in the clean, clean air. Elmore Leonard (in Valdez Is Coming )

"I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami." [Winner of this year's competition to write an atrocious opening sentence to the worst novel never written]

 

 

  Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

  Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash